Rae's Days

It's the T in me.

2012-01-04T13:40:00.002-05:00

So, I've been reading a lot about design lately, books about Frank Lloyd Wright style and modern design. Ok, I'll be honest. I've been looking at a lot of pictures. And I'm really drawn to the FLW style, art deco, and mid century modern design. And when I finally read a little bit about all of it, I realized that it all goes together. The aesthetics match academically. And that pleases me.

Resolutions

2012-01-01T16:16:00.000-05:00

I would love to pretend I was wise enough to know that the start of a new year doesn't necessarily promise a change. I'm not. I'm naive enough to hope that this will be the year I am a better friend, wife, mother, daughter, sister, person. And while I do believe we do need to learn to accept ourselves and our limitations, we should not stop striving to be better in some way.

So, here is an overly ambitious enumeration of aims for 2012.

1) Work out 6 days a week.
2) Eat meat only 2 times a day at most.
3) Participate in meatless Mondays.
4) Blog weekly
5) Read 2-3 books a month
6) Attend church/ Sunday School when in town.
7) Drink only 1-2 cans of Diet Coke a day.
8) Empty the dishwasher while Gerald is napping so I don't have to do it while he is awake
9) Write in Gerald's daily diary
10) Finish one sewing project a month
11) Focus on getting one room in the house "finished" each month
12) Get back in touch with old friends
13) Send birthday cards
14) Plan one mini vacation every 2 months
15) Make sure Robbin and I have one date night a month
16) Put the laundry away right after it's out of the dryer
17) Drink 8 glasses of water a day
18) Lose 20 lbs.
19) Volunteer
20) Be kinder

Should be easy.

December 2011

2012-01-01T15:17:00.000-05:00

November 2011

2011-12-05T21:01:00.000-05:00

October 2011

2011-11-08T08:58:00.000-05:00

September 2011

2011-10-07T16:53:00.000-04:00

September 2011

Swimmingly

2011-10-03T13:36:00.000-04:00

Parent/Child swim lessons went swimmingly. Held on my side, Gerald immediately started digging with his hands and arms and kicking with his feet. The teacher held a rubber duck in front of him and he lunged for it as if he were actually going to swim to it. And when we did Humpty Dumpty falling off the wall (side of pool) he looked like he was launching for a race. A few times he splashed himself too hard and didn't like it much. He swallowed a bit of water and really didn't like that. But overall it was lots of fun for both of us.

We also just had a brief trip to Chicago for my cousin Brenden's wedding. We didn't get to see enough people and weren't there long enough. But I am grateful for the time there and the people we did get to visit with.

I'll be working on the photo album for October if Gerald ever takes a nap today. Apparently swimming was so fun Gerald is upset by every other aspect of his day. And boy oh boy does my little boy need to nap. He is currently on the floor telling his frustrations to the clown in the jack in the box. It's nice he has someone to talk to.

Oops

2011-09-26T20:02:00.002-04:00

I really meant to keep posting each week. I really did.

We've had a nice month so far. We took Gerald to Atlanta to meet Steve and Amanda. We took a hike in Mistletoe State park. We enjoyed great food at Arts in Heart of Augusta. And we're getting ready for a trip to Chicago this weekend for my cousin's wedding.

I've started to become a little more involved with church, attending a mothers' support group and a bible study directed at moms. Both of these have childcare provided for by our church which is really, really great. In one group we're reading, "Life Together" by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. And in another we're reading "Love Wins" by Robert Bell.

Overnight, Gerald started sitting up and almost crawling. It's like an army crawl, but only if the army crawl were at the dramatic end of a war film. He moans, he seems wounded. But he is determined to reach that cup on the floor. Occasionally, he will get up on all fours and rock back and forth. Then he stops and contemplates why that didn't produce any movement. And start it all over again.

Today we had the first ride in the real seat in the grocery cart. Just like a little boy.

Tomorrow he will be driving.

6 months and a day.

2011-09-08T16:39:00.001-04:00

Time flies. To paraphrase wise Donna, the days are long but the months are short. Days are especially long when there isn't lots of sleep. Gerald slept through the night for all of June then gave that up. Right now he gets up 2 times a night or more. It is always to eat and he goes right back down; so it's not that bad.

I remember leaving the house in March and thinking, oh my, when we come back we will have a baby. And I really didn't understand how full he would make our house. Not only with all the gear a baby comes with, but also with his tiny presence.

I'm a bit anxious about the next 6 months. More baby proofing, weaning, crawling, walking, teething. But I'm so excited to find out more about this amazing, little, joyful man.

As I've done before, let me take this time to tell you what we know about Gerald so far.

He enjoys chewing on things. His favorites: the cup you are drinking out of at the time and paper. Occasionally, the end of a table.
He spits up very nonchalantly. You won't even hear him and then notice you are covered in a white mess.
He loves you. Whoever you are, as long as you are talking to him, looking at him, smiling at him.
He is strong, as demonstrated when he lifted a grate off of Chad's stove or when he pulled my hair so hard I turned around.
He doesn't crawl or scoot. He angles his hips in the desired direction and rolls where he needs to go.
He likes story time as long as it is a short book.
He can sit for approximately 10 seconds and tripod for about 30 seconds. And I wonder if his height hurts him when trying to balance.
He believes he can feed himself. Be in bottle, spoon or breast, he believes he can hold and maneuver it to get the food.
He squeals and sometimes give a guttural,"huh, huh, huh" laugh.
He loves being outdoors. (and I'm grateful he tolerates hats)
He would like to bite your nose.

August 2011

2011-09-01T12:38:00.001-04:00

Good times in August. Check it out by clicking on Gerald's messy mug.

And if that doesn't work, click here.

presbyterians

2011-08-25T21:34:00.001-04:00

So, we're Presbyterians now. We joined Reid Memorial on Monday night. It's been a long haul to find our church and I'm glad we've found a home. I am slightly disappointed that they decided to discontinue the early service literally an hour after we joined. C'est la vie.

Gerald went to his first Mother's Day Out this week as well. When I dropped him off I put him on the floor to play and then filled out some notes for Miss Whitney, his caregiver. After speaking with her, I walked over to say goodbye to him and he arched his back and reached out, showing me he wanted to be picked up. It was slightly heartbreaking. But, I distracted him with a toy and walked out. When I came to pick him up 4 hours later he was laughing in an exersaucer. He was also very happy to see me. So, the best of both worlds.

We're busy preparing for our trip to NY now. Gerald has amped up his eating schedule. Seriously, will it ever get better than every 2 hours? And wasn't really into doing any alone play today. So, there's still a bit to do.
One thing I can cross off the list though is going to the library for audio books, as I have discovered I can download them from home. Woo hoo. Now Robbin and I just have to agree on books. And...
clean the kitchen
pack my stuff (Robbin & Gerald are done)
put the diapers in the dryer
find my car key (somewhere in my car, so it won't take that long)
shower,
mow the lawn (ok, Robbin is going to do that tomorrow am)
wrap Craigory's birthday gift
verify our route doesn't intersect Irene
reply to an email from a friend that is about 1 month over due, and another that is about a week
gather dr.'s numbers to call to schedule appts for the month while on the drive
prepare Gerald's "feed bag" for the trip, already expressed milk, the pump, ice packs, and car charger
update blog (oops...done.)

Mommy!!!

2011-08-20T09:15:00.000-04:00

That's what Gerald was apparently screaming last night while his father tried to soothe him. As soon as took Jerry, he stopped. And I swear he then looked accusingly at his father and wrapped his arm around me. Minutes later he was then grinning at Robbin as if to say, "See, Daddy. I got Mommy to hold me, sucker."

On Sunday he was in the church nursery for 2 full hours while we met with the Reverend and attended service. We did check on him midway through and he was perfectly fine. When we went to P.E.O. earlier this week, he wouldn't let anyone else hold him. Whereas a month ago, he would let anyone, anywhere hold him and smile at them. We didn't go to the Y this week. I opted to do some running and walking with the stroller and ab work at home. I'm not sure how he would have reacted to the nursery workers there.

On Wednesday we start our Mother Day Out program for my free 4 hours each week. I really really hope he takes a liking to Miss Whitney.

Really.

July 2011

2011-08-14T20:26:00.000-04:00

A little late on the posting for July. Take a look at all the exciting people Gerald met!

Orange Goodness

2011-07-30T22:15:00.000-04:00

Gerald is now ready for solids. We tried pureed butternut squash last weekend with no success. Tongue thrusted right out. I froze the rest of the squash and brought a serving out tonight. He was uncertain at first. His father held the spoon but Jerry grabbed on as well. Jerry eventually flipped the spoon over and was delighted with what he found. So, we had another spoonful. Wow.

My friend Kathy has spoken and blogged about how amazing it is that as the mother of exclusively breastfed babies, that all of their nutrition had come directly from her. I tend to agree with her. (Being a mom is a huge ego trip sometimes.) It's not exactly true for Jerry since he was on intravenous nutrients for a few days there; but it's still kind of awesome.

That being said, I'm not a huge fan of nursing. I mean, I love that I can comfort him. I love that it's the healthiest choice for him. But I don't like that sometimes I'm the only one who can comfort him. And sometimes I'm not sure if it's comfort or if he's really hungry. And the absolute last thing I want is a hungry little boy. So for some reason this is liberating. This being the butternut squash.

Suddenly I'm not his only source of nutrition and that gives be a sense of freedom. I've already purchased a bottle of formula for Chicago in case I run out of expressed milk while I'm there. Jerry is going to daycare four hours a week starting at the end of August; I need to provide 3 bottles for those four hours. There is no way my ta-tas will be able to produce that much. Even if I pump for three 20 minute sessions during the only 4 hours I have free during a week....I would produce about 4 ounces. The pump and I don't get really have a productive relationship. My point is....I don't think we far off from formula.

I'm not sure why it matters at all but I feel better about introducing formula after solids are there as well. (Maybe it's because I'm thinking about washing cloth diapers).

In a few days we'll start cereal and make that part of our routine, what with iron being so important and all. But I'm very satisfied with his appreciation of the orange goodness of butternut squash.

Glee ~ Electric Boogaloo

2011-07-21T21:48:00.000-04:00

I get that Finn is supposed to be the male lead and he is the star quarterback and everything...but why does everyone pretend he has the best voice? Artie clearly wins that category.

That is all.

Well not quite......Also, Jerry has a cough that is keeping him up. Boo.

It's been a while

2011-07-16T22:38:00.000-04:00

July has been fun.

Jerry and I spent a great 10 days in Chicago. Jerry started turning over, teething, and pulling his pacifier out of his mouth. He had his 4 mos birthday. He stopped sleeping through the night (not that fun).

After a rough reintroduction with Grandma Janie, Jerry is back in good sorts with his Grandmother. She was even able to put a very difficult Gerald to sleep our last night there. She read him books, played the piano with him, and showed him her garden. He's a big fan of peek-a-boo with her as well.

He met Chicago family and loves each one of them. My uncle Billy told me he was going to call Gerald "Pooche", my father's nickname. We'll see if that holds true. He also met the newest member of our family, my Godmother's daughter, Melanee Wallace Dahl, who is 2 mos younger than him. It was great to be able to see her during the visit and amazing to think that Gerald was once so small.

I have great photos of playdates we had during our visits...but I seem to have missed placed my sony camera cord, so we'll see those photos at a later date. I can only hope Jerry continues to be so pleasant to everyone who ever wants to talk to him.

June 2011

2011-07-01T13:55:00.000-04:00

Loving summer so far.

Let's go for a paddle, Dad.

2011-06-20T08:22:00.000-04:00

That's what Jerry said to Robbin on their first Father's Day.

Well, honestly, it was more like me ordering his life jacket awhile ago when REI was having a sale and packing lunch for everyone that morning. But the sentiment is the same. BTW, I'm really looking forward to the day when Jerry can help load the canoe onto the car. Jerry was really patient getting his life preserver on and fell asleep about 20 minutes into the hour journey.

After an hour paddle, during which Jerry slept over half the time, we headed over to a local Flea Market. Unexpectedly, Jerry loved the Flea Market. We're not sure if it was all the people and movement or if it was because it was his first ride in the Bjorn facing outward...but he loved it. I'm pretty sure we're not Flea Market people. We went because I had heard a specific vendor had quality children's clothes and was having a special sale to clear out her inventory.

Then Robbin and Jerry headed to the grocery store to pick up some meat for the grill. After an extended afternoon nap, Jerry enjoyed some chicken on the deck with us. (or watched us enjoy it). Then it was bath time and bedtime. Somehow on Father's Day Robbin also managed to build 2 giant sized saw horses. I'm not sure when he fit that in. All in all a good day.

Cloth

2011-06-16T15:24:00.000-04:00

After much ado, we're in full on cloth diapers now. We settled on prefolds for a few reasons. 1) They are the least expensive. 2) They have been used successfully for decades. (I don't think I can say centuries because I'm not sure when they replaced flats). And 3) It allows for me to purchase a wider variety of cute diaper covers than any other diaper solution.

Jerry wears a disposable diaper at night because that has always worked for us. He generally sleeps through the night and hasn't had night time blow outs or leaks a month. I'm not going to mess with that. That time is way too important. (For my sanity and his health).

I wash the diapers and cloth wipes about every other day. Sometimes it's a load in the morning and the next day a load in the evening. When I wash them in the morning, I line dry them. This bleaches out any stains and helps offset the additional laundry costs (electricity) from using cloth diapers. I sewed some wipes together as well. They seem to be holding up well so far.

In the heat down here, Gerald is often just sporting his diaper as his outfit for the day. When we go out, he is generally in a romper or overalls. The onesies don't fit as well over the cloth diapers but we still wear the ones we have. I think we just need to upsize a bit sooner.

We're traveling a bit in the middle of summer (5 days in NY, followed by 10 days in Chicago). I'm certain we'll do disposable diapers in Chicago. I'd need to pack another suitcase to fit his diapers in our luggage. But I think we'll do cloth in NY since we're driving there and they will easily fit in the car.

So far our stash is:
12 Chinese Prefolds
6 Indian Prefolds
6 gDiaper inserts
2 Bummis wraps
2 Thirsties Duo wraps
1 Kissaluvs wrap
1 Fuzzi Bunz Perfect Sized Pocket Diaper (bought 2nd hand)
18 homemade diaper wipes

And really, aside from sizing a few of the items up as he grows, we have more than enough. But there are such CUTE diaper covers out there....I see our stash growing. I just have to make sure I stay far on the side of cloth diapers being an economical solution.

A Good Day

2011-06-09T21:35:00.000-04:00

~Son lets you sleep until 6:45am. At which point you wake up naturally, wash your face, brush your teeth, get dressed and then go in the nursery to find him awake in his crib, quietly stretching and moving around.
~Son smiles at every person in Target and Earthfare. And at Earthfare, where he started asleep in his carseat, he woke up with a smile on his face.
~You find the rare cleanser for cloth diapers you're looking for at 40% off. And your hair dye a was 30% off.
~Son sleeps solidly on the way home from store, while you listen to NPR story about Mad Libs and wonder what he'll come up with when he's old enough to play Mad Libs on a road trip.
~Focusing on the positive and not the fact that son had a melt down at Home Depot (to the point that when I left the garden section and moved to paint the workers asked me if he was the crying baby); that the roof guy came looked at my roof and drove away without ever talking to me about the leak in the kitchen; that Robbin is still at work (it's 9:30 pm, he goes to work between 5:30 and 6:00 am);and that there is a strange burning smell coming from my dryer.

The 3 month post

2011-06-07T10:31:00.001-04:00

Gerald is 3 months old today. And like every other parent on the planet, I can't believe how much time has passed but I can hardly remember life without him.

So, here's what we know about Gerald so far

He hates going to sleep and waking up. Before even opening his eyes he starts fussing and yelling. Over the last 2 weekends we've been to 2 BBQs, both times he wouldn't nap (even when given his own quiet private place.) The other parents there were quite impressed with Jerry's ability to fight sleep at such a young age. And by impressed I mean very sympathetic towards us.
He loves to sing all by himself. When left alone he just makes little squeals and hums and shouts.
His hair is brown. Though inexplicitly it can appear blond or red in photos.
His eyes are still blue, darker like his father's whereas they used to be brighter like my father's. On his left iris there is a brown patch between 10 and 11 o'clock.
He is starting to soothe himself to sleep, which involves turning to his side in the fetal position and sucking his thumb or pacifier.
He knows that sticking out his quivering bottom lip will make his parents bend to his every desire. (We're lucky for now these desires only include, eating, being held/ spoken to, diaper changes, and needing help to get to sleep.)
He really only tolerates story time as a prelude to nursing.
He gets heartburn.
He would like to be included in every conversation.
He loves trying to grab things. He doesn't always succeed. But I have found that I can no longer put the coupons I plan on using in his seat at the grocery store. I kept them there for easy access but yesterday I found he had crumpled them in his fist and wouldn't let go.
He dreams about wrestling bears. I can't see any other explanation for the acrobatics he performs in his sleep.
He believes a pacifer can solve most of his problems.
He hates a wet diaper. But really, who doesn't?

May 2011

2011-06-01T22:16:00.000-04:00

Hey! Check out my album! Just click me. Trust me. You'll like it.

Cartoon Baby

2011-06-01T14:14:00.001-04:00

I wish I could capture this on camera but I'm pretty sure my son was model for cartoon babies and cupids. While he raises up his hands folded over one another to his cheek, he will look up at you with his huge blue eyes, long curly lashes and smile with squeal of delight. This is usually in response to changing his diaper and saying to him, "Oh, you've pooped!" So, maybe not the scene Disney had in mind, but the look is undeniable.

Second piece of evidence that my child is the model for cartoon babies: The pacifier. He will cry and wine and fuss and fuss. Stick a pacifer in his mouth, and it's all over. He then he says in his own way, "No, I don't want that.suck, suck,..I don't...suck, suck...I want to keep..suck, suck, suck...yelling...suck....Listen, you can't just...suck, suck...a pacifier in me and expect me to shut...suck, suck, suck Oh, sweet Lord, I love my pacifer...suck, suck, suck."

Water

2011-05-31T10:45:00.000-04:00

Big week for water here at the MacNeil house. Gerald had 2 firsts: first shower and first swim. The shower went swimmingly and the swim....well, not so much. The shower was spontaneous. Robbin was getting in the shower, I was getting Jerry ready for a bath. It was Kismet. He reportedly enjoyed the shower. He smiled at the water drizzling over his head. He always enjoys hanging out with his Dad. But Gerald is not a fan of getting out of the shower, even with a hooded towel waiting for him.

Yesterday we went to a bbq at our friends house. Oh, and Jason, the host, competes in BBQ competitions in Memphis. His grill is so large you need a towing hitch (and car) to move it around. I only sampled the ribs and the fried bologna. He gave us plates to go home with and hopefully there is some chicken and pulled pork in there for me to try as well. Fried Bologna? I'm not saying I asked for seconds, but it was surprising tasty. Smokey.

Along with an industrial grill, the Hoods have a pool. The anticipation of getting Jerry into the pool for the first time was pretty exciting. Buying a rashguard suit, swimmy diapers (iplay b/c I couldn't find disposables in his size), sun hat. But when the day came, Jerry had been continuing his refusal to nap. After a quick 20 minutes in his friend Maya's crib, we thought maybe a swim would cool him off and help him sleep.

We were wrong.

Huge protests in the water. Hates his hat. The longer in the water, the angrier he became.

Hopefully, he was just too tired. I want to be able to enjoy Grandma MacNeil's pool during our week in NY next month. And I imagine there will be more days at the Hood's pool. I'm excited about swim lessons at the Y when he's old enough. I realize that even though I really want him to enjoy the water, he might not. But we are a long way from deciding he likes it or not.

Glee - again

2011-05-25T10:56:00.000-04:00

Okay, who does Finn remind me of? Anyone? Cause I know he reminds me of a real life person but I can't figure out who.

Mr. Sandman

2011-05-18T16:18:00.000-04:00

visited Gerald last night.

Last night Gerald fell asleep in the bouncy chair while I was sitting next to him on the floor pumping. He just fell asleep. I had about 7 minutes left to pump. I debated whether I should move him to the crib. wasn't comfortable just leaving him in there without me in the room and I wanted to sleep. On the other hand, he might wake up and it was getting close to 11pm and again, I wanted to sleep. So, I put him in his crib when I was done pumping and voila, he woke up right away. He was in a good mood and was just staring at his still mobile and yawning. I figured I was screwed. He was going to want to nurse again to go back to sleep, I was sure.

Nature was calling me. I figured we were in for a long nursing session since I had just pumped. I couldn't decide if I should just give him what I pumped or nurse him (which would take forever). Either way, I decided I must take care of me before we started anything. I came back into the room and he was asleep with his arms above his head. I doubted this was real. I knew he was going to wake up as soon as I closed my eyes. Nope. It was 11pm. He slept until 2:30am. Victory.

Here's the thing though. It's his progress. I have nothing to do with this. I know all about sleep hygiene because of my own bouts of sleeplessness. But for Jerry? We hold him all the time. We will have him sleep next to us. We use the swing, rock him, or nurse him to sleep everyday, multiple times a day. The closest thing we have to a bedtime routine is that I've started to put the same footed onesie on him for bed. Last night was the third night in a row. I doubt that tricked him into sleep. (It's really soft and lightweight and he hasn't peed through it yet so it's still clean.) I know he's capable of it now: going to sleep on his own.

At 2:30 I couldn't get him to sleep for anything. But I'm still claiming (his) victory.

I must have blinked

2011-05-16T09:17:00.000-04:00

Because my son went from there to here in a flash.

Suddenly he able to hold his head up for quite a length of time. He sleeps for 5 hour stretches. (not always, but I see a pattern emerging) He looks right at me and smiles back at me. He has something that almost sounds like a laugh (ah-oooo). He's filling out 3-6 mos clothing and in size 2 diapers.

He's much more baby than newborn.

(Sigh)...out of sentiment and exhaustion

1.5 oz a day

2011-05-10T21:54:00.000-04:00

That's how much Gerald gained in the last 2 weeks. 22 ounces over 14 days. Maybe that's why I was so down on breastfeeding last week.

He's 88 percentile height and 55 percentile weight. Tall and skinny like Dad. Speaking of Dad, Robbin's Mother's Day gift to me was getting up with Jerry all weekend. Aside from getting up to pump, I slept till 9am on Sunday. It was wonderful.

We went to the Y and used the the nursery for the first time tonight. The caregivers in the nursery loved Jerry. Hopefully this will ultimately help in my journey back into my non maternity jeans.

April 2011

2011-05-06T22:12:00.001-04:00

Pics for April 2011. We'll be just fine if May is less exciting.
Click on Jerry to see more pics.

Breastfeeding sucks

2011-05-02T13:11:00.001-04:00

There, I said it. You wonder if your son is getting enough food. Is he getting the right kind of milk, hind vs fore?
Is he going to sleep himself to death the first week? Will every nursing session last more than 30 minutes? What is going to happen when he has teeth? When will I get to where a normal bra again? Is now an okay time to have a glass of wine? (just one)

Pumping is worse than breastfeeding. After 20 minutes, I'm luck to have 1-2 oz. We have a huge stockpile of milk now because of the hospital stay and intravenous feeding. That stuff is liquid gold. I better be doing something pretty damn amazing if someone is giving him a bottle of pumped milk. That represents so much time that I didn't sleep or I didn't sit at Gerald's bed side or hold him.

Also, when do I find time to pump? I bought one of those hands free bras, and maybe it's user error but I still can't get it to work. I do plan on getting up at night to pump once he gives up one of his night feedings. Getting up isn't that bad for me and I understand my supply is supposed to be great at night.

Oh, and THE single most annoying question asked at the NICU: "Is he on a 3 or 4 hour schedule for feeding?" Schedule? Every single thing you read about nursing a newborn says to feed on demand. (Unless you're reading books condemned by the AAP). And speaking of lactation literature, I'm not exactly clear when we get to start to try to establish a schedule. That may be because the books I have are from Dr. Sears and La Leche League who would like me to give my child access to my milk until his student loans are paid off. It seems like there should be a lot of ground to cover between Ecco and Sears that would result in a healthy, happy baby (and mom).

There are all of the health benefits. There is this convenience that I never have to prepare a bottle or worry I don't have food with me. I don't have to pay for formula. A friend loaned me her pump so I only had to buy accessories. I've spent $170 on four bras (one being the hands free one....that I could never actually wear any place).

I'm committed. I'm going to do this but I'm not going pretend that every moment is a beautiful natural bonding experience. And Gerald does this really cute thing when he pops off. He swings he neck to put his head on top of my breast as if that was the pillow on which he was going to take his next siesta. It's adorable.

I'm a Gleek

2011-04-30T12:41:00.000-04:00

This was true long before Glee was on the air. The top 25 most played song on my Ipod are all from musicals. I attend Messiah sing-a-longs. I was not only a "drama freak" in HS but earned more Thespian "points" than anyone else in my class. (Yes, you get points that are tracked.) So, I was a Gleek long before there were Gleek. Yet I'd never watched the show until my mom stayed with us.

One night she watched a rerun and I really enjoyed the music. I didn't think I'd watch it regularly...but then I was stuck on the couch nursing and going through my Netflix streaming options. Glee Season 1. Sure let's see how this goes.

OMG. This show is awesome. Pure fantasy. Cutting wit. Sue Sylvester.

Kurt and Rachel remind of people from high school, not caricatures of people from high school but the actual people. But Brittany is my favorite.

Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?

Scout

2011-04-29T12:09:00.000-04:00

I *think* that was the name of Kathy's new kitten circa 1994. On one of many countless nights my friends spent in the Sandriks' living room, I was captivated by anything Scout did. Anything. "Look, she's walking!" "Aw, she licked me," as I broke out in hives. And my friends gently made fun of me for clearly never having been around a kitten before.

Sometimes I feel like that around Gerald. When he wakes up, he stretches his arms one at a time then both, far over his head. He yawns. He keeps his eyes closed. He smacks his lips. It's the most adorable thing in the world. I'm certain of it. Robbin suggested capturing it on video...I rolled my eyes at him. But as I sit on the couch next to Jerry right now as he stirs awake, I really wish I had that camera in my hands.

One more thing about the hospital stay...

2011-04-26T21:24:00.001-04:00

Gerald's diaper rash is gone. :-)

The not so serious stuff

2011-04-23T14:14:00.001-04:00

Now that Jerry is home and healthy (aside from a wound that still needs to be dressed twice a day), I can reflect on some of the less dramatic aspects of this ordeal.

Our surgeon was a caricature of surgeons portrayed on tv. Two surgeons came to speak with us and it was clear out of those two who was in charge. He came into our room in the ER with an authoritative stance and everyone in the room stopped what they were doing to listen to him. This included the attending ER doc, who prior to the surgeon's entry had clearly been top dog. He was a tall African American man in his late forties who had huge biceps. Robbin and I decided that on the tv show that portrays MCG, we would see his character in the gym when not on rounds or in surgery. After we spoke to him, we overheard him scolding the ER attending, "I need to understand what happened between when they came here at 6am and when I was called at 8am. Green vomit is a surgical issue until I say otherwise." The doc he was talking to was the one who got the ball rolling minutes after seeing the stained onesie though, prior to even talking to us. However, in my limited understanding of a hospital hierarchy I think that the first doc may have worked for her.

The other surgeon went over history with us. I told him we had given birth at University Hospital and he asked who was my ob. Turns out it was his wife. And then a nurse was asking if I had notified my peditrican yet what was going on. (no, aside from the call to his office last night). She offered to call and notify him and when I told her his name, the emergency room doc chimed in, "Oh, I'm best friends with his wife, I'll just call his cell." Augusta isn't that small of a town; but apparently the medical community shrinks it a bit.

Once we got to the ER, we were told not to feed Gerald anything else. I knew this would be hard for him because through all the throwing up he still had his appetite. I did not appreciate what effect there would be for me. I'm not sure when it started but by the time he was in surgery I had leaked through my bra, t shirt and sweatshirt. Apparently this is what I looked like on the trip to and from radiology and while speaking to the surgeons. The ER doc brought me some makeshift nursing pads. I was so focused on Gerald I failed to appreciate what they were for at first. They sent us to the NICU lactation room while Jerry was in surgery.

Hospital grade breast pumps are amazing. I think I have a slow let down so I would still pump for 20 minutes; but I would yield twice as much than I do at home with the Freestyle. And speaking of pumping, the first day, after we knew he was okay, every other person told me to take advantage of this opportunity to get more sleep. I think I looked like a particularly overtired new mom at that point since Wednesday I barely got in a nap and then barely slept Wednesday night. The other half of the people I spoke to reminded me that I still had to set an alarm to get up to pump.

The NICU was an interesting place. There was a yellow sign hanging from the ceiling that reads "QUIET PLEASE". Attached to a noise sensor, it would light up every time it got loud in the room. 70% of the time it lit up because a baby was crying. Apparently, they couldn't read the sign.

We were there far more often than other parents, probably for a variety of reasons. Most of the babies had much longer stays than Jerry so their parents had returned to work. Other babies were so new, their mothers were still in the hospital. And some parents lived far away; MCG is the hospital babies with complications are transported to for the best care. We were lucky that the hospital was not only in town, but also only a mile and a half from our house.

You had to take off all jewelry and wash your hands for with a scrub brush and sponge 3 minutes before entering the NICU. After that, you donned a yellow gown and rubber gloves. The hospital personnel had to change gloves and gowns between each patient. We had the first crib off the door which was really convenient since we were there so much. Because we had the first bed, we could see him before we scrubbed up or ask each other what was going on if one of us had stepped out. This was usually me since I had to pump every 2-3 hours.

All of our nurses were great, but one really stood out. I'm not sure if it was timing or if she was just someone who put more effort into her job. Ida did many things for Gerald. She pushed the resident to up his morphine dose which meant that Jerry went from fitful angry sleeping to being calm and awake or deep sleeping. She removed one of the IVs when his PICC was put in. I'm not sure if the line wouldn't flush anymore or if she did it because two IVs, a gastro-nasal tube, heart and oxygen monitors and a PICC line are a bit visually overwhelming on a 5 week old's little body. Ida was also the first nurse to make sure we held him, saying, "that boy belongs in his mother's arms, he is used to being held."

We have friends here and in Chicago who brought us/ sent us food either at home or in th hospital which really helped. I might not have eaten or just have had really unhealthy fast food otherwise. Our fridge broke the week before and our new one was being delivered that Friday so we were short on fresh whole foods in the house. And speaking of friends, everyone should have an NP for a friend. It was really reassuring to run what was going on by Kathy.

Other than Kathy, we only called our moms/ Robbin's work to tell what was going on and then only after we saw Jerry post-op. It was too emotionally draining to tell the story without knowing the outcome. I knew some of my closest friends read this blog so I posted here.

I then decided to put on FB so people knew about the green vomit thing. Really, I knew it meant call a doctor. I did not know it meant he could lose part of his bowel or die. I'm surprised it isn't more well known because an estimated 1/500 people are born with a malrotation of the intestine and I believe that 90% of those people develop a complication such as volvulus.

My new favorite picture

2011-04-17T21:04:00.000-04:00

This photograph below was taken about one hour after Jerry had surgery for volvulus. His intestines had twisted around the superior mesenteric artery. This blocked his digestion and caused vomiting. Around 6pm on Wednesday, it just seemed like he was spitting up more than usual, both in frequency and volume. It was often coming out his nose as well as his mouth. It only seemed to bother him about half the time. Jerry is usually a "happy spitter." His spit up was yellow, it was usually white. By about 3am it had started to look green. The guidance I found online said that spit up/ vomit in infants can be yellow and was nothing to worry about. You only needed medical attention it was green or brown. I convinced myself that it was just a brighter yellow. By 5am it was green like a grass stain. I was worried he was getting dehydrated. His diaper had red dust in it the last changing.

After a call to the doctor's office we went to the emergency room. I was thinking he might have a stomach bug, despite the fact that he did not have a fever. I had read about pyloric stenosis on my Droid while I held Gerald in the middle of the night. I thought it might be that but one article had said something about the spit up NOT being green if that was the cause. The first doctor and nurse team we saw thought it might be a UTI and put Jerry through a rather painful catheter process....that didn't capture enough urine for a culture. The nurse asked us to get her if he vomited again so she could see the color. I told her I had brought the onesie he had green throw up on if she wanted to see that. She said they were only interested in what he was doing now.

At 8am a new team took over. The new nurse also asked for something he had thrown up on. I handed her his current burp cloth, covered in yellow spit up. I also offered her the soiled onesie. She took it and we could hear her shout to the doctor as she stepped out of the room, "It's neon green." Within minutes we were being told that Gerald may have an intestinal obstruction and the surgical team had been called. We went to radiology and saw the obstruction. At this point, I was happy to have a diagnosis. I wasn't thrilled that my 5 week old needed to have surgery, but I figured we were on the right path with the only worry being the risks of surgery.

We went back down to the ER to wait for the surgical consult. This is when it was explained to us that he would have emergency surgery and that there was a risk of his bowel dying because the blood flow was cut off. It may already be dead. This is a life threatening situation. I was on a gurney holding him at the time and didn't let him go again until we handed him to the anesthesiologist. The next 2 hours or so were awful. I was on the brink of tears but I just wanted to distract myself from thinking about something I had no control over.

Then we saw the surgeon again. Gerald did well. There was no necrosis of the intestine. They were able to. extubate him in the operating room. We could see him. And here is the photo of when i saw him again. I knew he was okay.

He's doing very well now. He is acting like himself again. He is off morphine. He has 2 fewer IVs than he had .on Thursday. He should be able to eat again on Tuesday. We're not sure when he will be coming home; it may be another week in the hospital. He will have an increased chance of a bowel obstruction for the rest of his life. He is no longer has his appendix. And he will have a cool scar to show off to the other kids.

I tried to find out online what the mortality rate is for volvulus. I saw stats that ranged from 9-15%. I'm really glad I didn't know that until after we knew he was okay.

1 month

2011-04-07T21:57:00.000-04:00

I can hardly believe it's been a month. There are already things I miss about him that he's grown out of. He used to have this adorable smile on his face when he woke up and would dramatically root, swinging his head over. He would do this repeatedly with a huge smile on his face, simply expecting a nipple to be right there when he woke up. He still occasionally does this along with five other versions of this, but there is already a difference.

So, what else can I say about my son after a month? He hasn't yet decided if he is going to be a brunette or a blonde. His eyes are still blue. He has a constant diaper rash. He loves the pacifier. He loves to eat. He has a constantly dirty diaper; (his digestive and renal systems seem to work on a continuous rather than a batch process.) He loves it when you sing or talk to him. He is a snuggler. And he spits up a lot.

"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone? "

2011-03-25T18:18:00.003-04:00

My best friend from Jr. High, Anneliese, recently devoted a blog post to me. She's all kinds of awesome.

I love that quote from Stand By Me, which was released 25 years ago this month. I have some incredible friends that have been with me through so much. I know I'm blessed to have each one of them in my life. But there is a type of intimacy you have with your best friends at 12 that is incomparable. You're at your most vulnerable, you're figuring out who you are supposed to be; and your best friend witnesses every naked moment. Those circumstances continue to happen through highschool and college, but you become more guarded and less raw than you were at 12.

Anne and I have gone in and out of touch over the years, but she has always been with me.

Love you, Anneliese.

postpartumisms

2011-03-24T09:39:00.004-04:00

Not being pregnant anymore is kind of weird. Your body does lots of funny things. I was sick for about half of last week so I didn't recognize what were signs of my infection vs postpartum shenanigans.

You sweat like crazy at night. I have to imagine this is what hot flashes will be like 20 years from now. At night I've taken to putting m hair up and pulling it back with a headband as if I'm about to go run 3 miles; not get ready for my sleep/ up with baby cycles.

You lose weight really fast. I gained 30lbs. I've lost just over 20lbs since giving birth 17 days ago. I realize that the baby was about 8.5 lbs of that weight, but that's still crazy. Getting back to your pre-pregnancy weight doesn't seem to be as big of a challenge and trying to get something similar to your shape back.

Your boobs get crazy. Now, I'm not talking about people who say, "my boobs got HUGE. I wear a DD now." If you can still buy bras at VS or Target or anywhere that isn't a specialty store, this is not quite the same. Yes, I'm sure it's very different than what you had before. But I just barely fit into most blouses, L fitted T-shirts, etc. Now I'm up a band size and 2 cup sizes and most of my t shirts don't fit. Shortly after giving birth for the first time, my friend Donna said to me with almost tearful eyes, "Oh my God, they get so big." I have a much better understanding of what she was warning me about now.

Luckily, I live in GA, where it is already warm enough on some days to wear tank tops, which do fit. But because of the night sweats? All broken out on chest with little red bumps. Awesome new mom look. I did finally receive 2 bras from bare necessities yesterday....my Lord, I have missed underwire. And I'm so glad we'll be hanging out again on a daily basis.

Then there are the hips. I did not sign up for these. They served a purpose to help the baby through, now they can go away again. They are making it very difficult to imagine myself ever fitting again into my wide collection of Gap and JCrew pants/ jeans.

On the plus side, almost immediately after giving birth...I stopped having acid reflux and the blemishes that I blamed on Gerald cleared up.

Oh, and I have an awesome amazing adorable son whose due date is today and I couldn't imagine having to wait this long to meet him.

Who do I look like?

2011-03-19T11:54:00.003-04:00

Robbin?

Rachel?

Carl Fredicksen (the old guy from Up)?

miscellany

2011-03-18T18:20:00.003-04:00

1) This not any universal truth in anyway, but people who have given birth seem much more understanding of how these first couple weeks are than those who haven't. And while that might seem obvious, there is also a difference between the men and women who have kids. Also, most humans know someone who has given birth, probably someone close to them. My birth was relatively uneventful, I only experienced what I consider serious pain for about 60-90 minutes. I only pushed for 2 hours. But damn it is an experience you need to recover from. I understand some women might have had worse experiences and recover sooner than me. But on day 4 after giving birth to an almost 8.5lb baby, you still can't go on extra long walks or even sit correctly for very long. We went to a dinner at one of Robbin's coworker's last weekend and some of the "kids" were surprised I still had my belly. And felt free to tell me that. Compare that to another woman with 2 kids who has called and sent emails saying, let me know when you are ready for visitors/ if you need any help. I feel I'm not being very clear here...but there's this huge difference. And it's not universal.

2) Red raspberry tea....I heard that it could encourage postpartum contractions to help your uterus shrink. Last weekend my milk had not come in (well, it did on Saturday), I wasn't having any contractions and I was getting anxious. So, I added the tea to my cart at the grocery store and had a cup. And I experienced cramping for the next 12 hours. Now, my milk also came in and Gerald was eating almost every hour, possibly stimulating the contraction. But I can't help but believe the tea helped the contractions along.

3) Yesterday Robbin and I took Gerald on a walk to DQ. Neither of us brought any money to pay for it. At least we remembered the baby.

4) I find it kind of odd that I have more pills to take right now than ever before. 9 pills, including prenatal vitamins and not including oxycodone which is a just as needed. Most of these will stop this week; and my doc knows I am and is incredibly supportive of breastfeeding. I understand it's safe for Gerald; I trust my doc. But it seems strange that I can take all of that but not a wine cooler. And I can have a wine cooler, I just need to time it correctly. And don't actually drink wine coolers.

5) Gerald's right ear has a particularly adorable extra curl in it.

6) Gerber clothes are awesome for newborns because they are so inexpensive and they run small anyway. We're very short on nb clothes and really hesitant to buy more because he'll grow out of them in a matter of weeks. But for $8 I can get 3 onesies. Awesome.

7) I was sure I was a large for the Belly Bandit sizing. I'm either a small or medium. This makes me feel very tiny even though I'm not into pre-pregnancy pants yet.

8) I'm tracking my stretch-mark recovery using Mederma's new cream. I plan on sending them the results and not sharing on the blog because I only put up cute photos of myself. But I might- report on progress here.

9) I feel better than I have in months...not being 8+ mos pregnant, not in recovery from Labor and Delivery, and not bogged down with a fever like I was the last 4 days. Hopefully I will be able to channel this energy into posting the various snapshots we have of Gerald into some organized fashion on the web this weekend. :-)

Curtains up

2011-03-14T12:40:00.004-04:00

Gerald David MacNeil made his debut a week ago; about 3 weeks early and weighing in at 8 lbs 7oz. As he emerged into the world he grabbed the sheet covering my right leg and twisted it around himself causing everyone in the room to chuckle. (except for me, I couldn't see)

Labor was fairly uneventful as childbirth goes. My water broke at midnight. I woke Robbin up about half an hour later and he was thoroughly excited that our son's birthday would be all prime numbers. (3, 7, 11) When I got to the hospital, the nurses estimated that he was in position 0, but I was not dilated at all. I'll get into the whole birth story in a later post but it involves ignoring pitocin orders, loving epidurals yet hating IVs, and falling blood pressures (to as low as 60 over 40).

The first week has been exhausting and amazing. Gerald had a high bilirubin count so we had to go back for additional testing on Thursday after discharge on Wednesday. And then we did the same on Friday and Saturday. His levels were increasing and he lost 14 oz on Friday. But on Saturday he had gained 2 oz back, my milk came in and even though his level went up my .2, the doc decided he had probably peaked. We have a follow up on Wednesday and here's hoping for a confirmation of that.

At first he only had 2 mood, mellow and enraged. Now he also can be disgruntled, satisfied, confused, suspicious, and gleeful. (Gleeful being limited to right after a correct latch on.) My mom came yesterday and he was showing off for her how well he can sleep....4 hours during the middle of the day. This is something he has never done before, a 4 hour stretch. Why did it have to be during the day? Mom was impressed until she saw that I was up from 9pm-6am with him. He'd eat, he'd burp, he would fall asleep for about 30 minutes and then cry because he had a poopy diaper. So, I'd change the diaper and calm him down and put him to sleep and then he would want to eat in 30 minutes. Nights like this need to change soon so I don't die of exhaustion. But I'm really happy he is eating so much and getting all those brs of his body with each dirty diaper.

On other notes to come later: how different it is talking to people who have given birth vs those who haven't, who Gerald looks like, and red raspberry tea.

Dropping the Baby

2011-03-02T09:50:00.003-05:00

Gus "dropped" around Valentine's Day. Robbin took me to Hilton Head for the weekend and as we were walking on the beach, he noticed I was carrying lower. And then I thought about how I was waddling and had been without losing my breath,

The ultrasound the following Wednesday confirmed that Gus is "way down there." The tech kind of scared us a little with phrases like, "wow, do we have your due date right?" "March 8th" and "7 lbs" The doctor made us feel better. She pointed out that the measurements are inaccurate by up to a lb . She would not change my due date. And that as long as everything progressed normally she was not going to induce early. Her biggest concern was the baby staying small enough to have a healthy vaginal birth.

Which brings us to the next week's appt: no weight gain for mama, bp 106/72, measuring at 36 weeks. And a no-go on the internal exam because the baby's head is too low...which probably means there is no dilation at all since I'm still posterior. But the doc also has told me that she would be surprised if I lasted 2 more weeks, but that I still night wait till my due date. So, she wants me to be ready just in case.

Are we ready? Yes and no. The car seat has been installed. The nursery is done with the exception of some small patch work that Robbin has started and now needs to complete. But the guest room, a disaster. So, I keep telling myself each morning, "today, I'll work on the guest room." And then I always find a different project, like updating my blog. :-)

Another appt this afternoon, hopefully an informative one.

So that's what has been hurting

2011-02-04T10:32:00.003-05:00

Something I missed in all the reading I did and advice I received before I got pregnant was that your rib cage and hips expand during pregnancy. I've been having some pain around my bra band...even when not wearing one...I figured maybe I'd gone up a band size. I bought a bra strap extender, holding off for new bras until later in pregnancy.

I measured myself today. I've gone from a 32 to a 36 band size. I'll still get a professional fitting before I replace all my bras. But darn, that would explain the pain.

32 weeks (Large Jicama)

2011-01-28T10:49:00.005-05:00

Thursday, January 20th: Good new hair cut. Bangs a little short but hair straightened beautifully...much straighter than I manage with my flat iron. Find out hairdresser's wife is due with their first in July.

Friday, January 21st: Run through ATL to make my connection, forget that last time I ran, I had round ligament pain for the next couple of days. Made my flight, arrived on time at ORD where our jetway was frozen and couldn't be maneuvered to let us on. (because it never gets this cold (-25 F) in Chicago?) Finally deplane, discover I have stretched my ligaments a bit too far, and waddle my way through the rest of the day. Lunch with Steve, check out my sister's new office, bump into Corey while getting coffee with Heather, dinner with Robbin, Mom and Heather.

Saturday January 22nd: Breakfast with Dieden. Early evening gathering with HS friends, minus some spouses. Eat way to much good food Steve and Amanda provided.

Sunday, January 23rd: Cannot get hair straight like it was before. Early morning service: musical accompaniment is wearing a Green Bay Jersey. Our minister uses this as a spring board to speak about forgiveness and being accepting of all people. Wonderful shower with lots and lots of women. Very humbled by efforts of Linda and Kathy as well as the generosity of all my friends and family. And much thanks to Steve for again being Johnnie on the spot.

Monday, January 24th: Return a couple unexpected duplicates from shower. Eat a Lulu's. Eat way too much at Lulu's. At least it was mostly vegetables...covered in some type of nut oil I'm sure...but still vegetables. Shop with Mom.

Tuesday, January 25th: Fly home, no problems. Realize there are no groceries at our house, go out for fancy dinner at Panera.

Wednesday, January 26th: Watch a C-Section in Birth Class. Really hope I get to give birth the other way...which is really saying something considering how terrifying a vaginal birth looks.

Thursday, January 27th: Hair has started curling like we're in a tropical rain forest. Stop trying to straighten it. Get backed into while sitting at a light by a Lexus SVU who was trying to "find" the sensor. Argh. Robbin believes there is $10k damage to our car.

Boo.

31 weeks (4 oranges or a Squash)

2011-01-20T09:54:00.002-05:00

I was a bit disappointed yesterday when my doctor told me I was measuring at exactly 31 weeks. Like almost every other pregnant woman out there, I can’t imagine getting any bigger. I was certain I must be ahead of the game. No such luck. On the plus side, I’ve gained 20 lbs…which hopefully means I will be in the healthy range by the end of this (under 35lbs). However the idea of gaining only 25lbs is a long ago dream. As far as I can tell, each and every one of those 20lbs is in my belly.

Robbin gave me a series of 4 massages for Christmas. I had the first one this weekend at Serenity and it was heavenly. I've received a couple recommendations to hold onto that last massage until after I give birth, so I plan to space them out about every 4-6 weeks.

We visited the hospital nursery after class last night. There were 10 babies, and all very very different looking in every way. Some were already chubby babies, some were so small they were swimming in their newborn diapers. They were different races; the Caucasian babies had hair ranging from curly blonde to a full head of dark hair. Some babies had the distinctive cone head while others looked like they may have been born via C-Section. I'm hoping Gus looks like one of the tiny ones.

Not much exciting with Gus this week. Tuesday I realized I had not felt him move in a while so I drank a glass of cold water and laid down on my left side just like all the books tell you to do. Within 2 minutes Gus had kicked/ punched my bladder and diaphragm so much I got up out of discomfort. There has been a distinctive change in his movements in the last week or so; the movements are much less jerky. He tends to feel more like he is pushing against me rather than kicking me. So, I need to get used to feeling those more subtle moves. I guess it's getting crowded in there.

Last weekend we went to a newish restaurant downtown, the Blue Horse. It had great music, good food and really poor service. I’m not sure if they were understaffed or if we just had a bad waiter. I honestly felt sorry for the guy because he was clearly overwhelmed by his job. I’d like to go back there after the baby is born to enjoy a glass of wine and listen to the music. But next time, we might just chose to sit at the bar.

inconsequential decisions

2011-01-13T13:57:00.007-05:00

Back in June, I gave Robbin 3 paint samples and asked which one he would like for the nursery. They were all variations on yellow from a lemon chiffon to a bright yellow. And of course the color blind man who has difficulty seeing colors choose the most intense colors. I didn't have to follow his preference, I certainly don't many other household decorating choices but I did in this case. I must have also thought it was a good idea. So, I painted the room bright yellow. And it's kind of grown on me, especially since all the green trim is now gone. Here's a visual....

I really wanted a nursery that wasn't themed and also wasn't gender specific. I figured primary colors might be the way to go. Yellow walls would be the start and we'd add on from there. I already had an old poster with colorful squares on it that would look great.

Then I found this wonderful Adirondacks poster. And I realized it was sentimental and the perfect way to bring the room together with the yellow I was starting to doubt.

And then I forgot all about it when buying the chair and side table. So, the nursery looks like this now:

I waver between loving and hating it. I may just keep it as it is. Or I may take down the colored squares, hang the ADK poster, get a new red cushion for the chair ($30) and get a different side table ($7.99). (Gotta love IKEA).

You may ask, well what about the bedding? Crib bedding these days is pretty basic. You shouldn't use bumpers, blankets, or pillows based on SIDS risk. We have a pale yellow and a pale blue sheet. I plan on making a crib skirt once I make a darn decision about the rest of the nursery.

Oh, and window treatments? We'll be putting in white wooden blinds. We have them in every other room up stairs so it seems like the right thing to do. I may add a valance after that.

It's a lot easier to think about this rather than pour through the information to choose a pediatrician so here I am, in debate with myself over something the baby will not care about and has no real consequence to anyone.

miscellaneous

2011-01-06T10:00:00.006-05:00

1-Some people really don't know how to talk to pregnant women. Latest offense: clerk at a grocery store asked how far along we were. Robbin said 6 mos (It's really 7)...her response, "Wow, you're gonna be huge. Huge." I did not respond, just took my bags.

2- I love hearing the contradictory advice from all my friends. Really, I'm not being sarcastic. They all are doing a great job raising their kids. Combined they have all of opinions possible about products, methods, etc about giving birth or the first few months afterward. Some always crouch their advice with "this is what worked for me" others start with, "you must..." Either way, it's informative and entertaining at the same time.

Biggest contradictions so far:

Birthing Class vs No Instruction vs Doula

Rooming in at Hospital vs Having baby brought to you to eat

Baby sleeping in room with you at home vs sleeping in own bed on night one.

Then there are little things....."biggest waste of money was the swing; never used it" vs. "make sure you get a swing that sways side to side and back and forth; it's the only way we got through the first few months." And people who don't use cloth diapers are generally certain that we will switch to disposables after a month; while those who use cloth can't believe they ever even considered disposables.

It's very clear there is no right answer and it's good to hear the whys behind the opinions so we have a better idea of what will work for us.

3- Just at Christmas, I was admiring how cute my pregnant belly looked after I got out of the shower and how it's pretty neat that all my weight gain is right there. I'm no wider at all, still have chicken legs, the same size chest, etc. Just a big belly. Then, the next day I stepped out of the shower expecting again to smile and my adorable belly...and it had the tiniest, less than half an inch, purple stretch mark. Dammit

4 -Birthing class at the hospital is good so far. We took one last night and have 3 more to go. (each is 2 1/2 hours long). There are only 4 couples in the class; the instructor said her Tuesday night class at 14 couples and the Thursday night class has 11 couples. I kind of we were in a larger class so we'd meet more people; but I like that our sessions must go faster since their are less participants.

5- It seems as though most baby registry items/ must haves are items to hold the baby: the carrier, the bouncer, the swing, the car seat, the highchair, the Bumbo, the stroller, the tub. I'm going to get a little frustrated if it turns out I never remove Gus from the car seat. Babies R Us could really learn a few things from Bed Bath and Beyond about registries. There is too much of a difference in what is offered online vs the stores. And then from store to store, it also varies too much. I understand that not all stores will carry the same products but the variation is just too high. It's high enough that at both the store in Augusta and Chicago they seemed to think that it would be almost impossible for me to register for items in the store and expect those same items to be in the stores in other city. Hmph. Buy Buy Baby (owned by Bed Bath and Beyond) seems to have a selection that almost matches their website and while their selection isn't as large, it seems to be of a higher quality. I registered for a few items there for my Augusta shower and I really wish they had a larger presence in Chicagoland. Not for my shower, but for all my friends who live there and have to keep going back to BRU.

Christmas 2010

2011-01-06T09:30:00.014-05:00

We went to Ticonderoga, had lots of time with Robbin's family as well as Chad an Lauren. When we went to Robbin's mom's house on Christmas morning to pick her up we were surprised by 2 horses in the yard. They had gotten out of the neighbors' barn and were busy digging up the lawn under the snow. This is the type of Christmas experience I would never get in Chicago.

Robbin spent lots of time with the kids, he went down to sledding with them while I was feeling ill and another day he took Donny on a "hunt" through Grandma's "woods". Donny informed Robbin that they could kill Bambi's father but not Bambi or his mother. When Robbin asked what they would kill the buck with if they found him, Donny thought about it and said, "you'll punch him in the face."

Jack is doing really well. He's a little behind for a 1 year old but doing really well for a 9 mos old; which is what should be expected. I realized that calendar-wize her pregnancy with him and mine matched up perfectly. Meaning she gave birth on January 1 at 28 weeks pregnant, exactly where Gus and I are 1 year later. He's totally thriving though and is a very happy baby who laughs a lot, enjoys the attention of his brothers and sister, and seems to really want to crawl, but gives up and rolls anywhere he wants to go.

While we were in NY, it snowed in Augusta and I wish we had been able to get a photograph of our house with snow on it. Our Christmas tree held up very well while we were gone for 11 days. It held up so well, I feel bad taking it down tomorrow. But I really can't argue that Christmas should last past January 6th. I'm not sure if we're going to put the tree on the curb or keep for fire wood.

I couldn't be in Chicago, but I sent gifts for my family. For my extended family I made large Santa Bags for every family unit. I thought of the idea last year when the everyone seemed to struggle getting things to the car. I hear they were a hit and I hope they last for the years to come.

Um, I'm kind of huge

2010-10-27T14:19:00.004-04:00

Last night as I was getting ready for dinner I put on a dress I've worn for years. It's size 8, it's from Banana Republic. It's kind of stretchy and has no waist so I figured it would work with what I have perceived to be a little bump. We don't have a full length mirror. But based on the view from the bathroom mirror and from my somewhat obstructed view looking down at my belly I thought, this looks good. Off to dinner.

Robbin and I had great Indian food a few friends and listened to the owner/ hostess stories about how the first time she ever ate her own vegetable samosas she was a customer at a local tapas restaurant. Occasionally she sold them to the restaurant for nightly specials. Unfortunately that some night she had too much tequila so she just doesn't have very positive memories of her own vegetable samosas, she prefers that lamb version.

After Robbin and I got home, we went into the kitchen and were discussing topics of great importance when I was distracted by an image in the reflection in our patio windows. It was a huge belly below my belly button. I'm just now at my weight at the time of my first doctor's appointment, after losing during the first trimester. But I'm huge. As if I'm pregnant.

Turnip

2010-10-19T12:15:00.003-04:00

At week 17 Gus is the size of a turnip. Coincidently, our CSA delivery on Thursday included about 10 lbs of turnips. We have Robbin's new direct reports and their spouses coming over for dinner on Wednesday and this seems like a good opportunity to use up some of those turnips. So, I've been researching some turnip recipes. Turnips are on my mind. And apparently, in my dreams.

Last night I dreamed that Gus was a talking turnip ala groceries from Sesame Street complete with a deep gravelly voice; all while still inside me. When my mom was pregnant, she had dreams about taking walks with a red headed baby and a little brunette girl. I get a disgruntled turnip.

apple to avocado

2010-10-07T08:54:00.003-04:00

Last week Gus was an apple, this week an avocado. She's created a distinctive but small bump in my abdomen. Aside from that though, she's really a lot less trouble than she used to be. There's no more morning sickness, not nearly as much exhaustion.

We enjoyed the "Best of Augusta" last night, held at the Discovery Center downtown. All the winners from the Augusta Magazine survey for Best brunch, Best Romantic Restaurant, Best Dessert, and many other categories were there with small samples. Something that I thought was odd though was not everyone was serving their "best." A pizza place that won for best dine in pizza had artichoke dip, chips and meatballs.

We did find a new ice cream place, Bruster's. The served some amazing pumpkin spice ice cream. We also found a "green" cleaning supply store which sells everything from dishwasher soap to water bottles. They gave us a samples of some all purpose cleaner to try out. The store is in Evans, a bit far but I'll check it out soon.

Ouch!

2010-10-04T16:05:00.003-04:00

This afternoon, I bent over to get laundry out of the dryer...which is still in the kitchen...and I managed to nail my left orbital bone on the side of the kitchen chair. After what seemed like a scene out of the Family Guy in which I held my eye and breathed heavily in and out for minutes, I looked in the mirror. Eyebrow area is already red and swollen. So, now you'll know why I have a black eye in pics from my birthday and from Steve's wedding.

In better news from today, I got a call from the consignment store today. The kitchen lighting fixtures we had brought over last month sold! I get to pick up a check tomorrow and I'll drop off the last large chandelier left from the move (in).

Lemon

2010-09-24T18:04:00.002-04:00

A shrimp to a lemon in one week. That seems like a big jump, doesn't it? I'm really going to have to take a roll by the lemons during my next grocery store visit. Also is this just length, or are we talking volume? This week Gus can also suck his thumb and urinate. So there is a little person peeing inside of me. This pregnancy stuff is kind of creepy at times.

We had the 3rd doctor appointment this week, where we listened to the heartbeat via doppler which was very surreal. Along with kidney function separate from me, Gus has his very own heartbeat very much apart from mine. It's as if there is a whole other person inside of me.

Medium Shrimp

2010-09-17T10:43:00.005-04:00

According to Babycenter that is the size of my baby right now at 13 weeks. The first trimester has been a little bumpy but nothing horrific. I think it may have been easier to deal with if I had been working. Most of the time the morning sickness manifested itself in nausea and exhaustion, which made most the house and yard work at hand daunting. But I'm fairly certain I could have pushed through sitting at my desk and being productive in that realm. In contrast, I have had at least 2 days pass here where the only productivity is clearing my DVR.

So far pregnancy has been wonderful for my weight, I've lost about 8 lbs. My doctor isn't worried about it yet, as long as it turns around this week with the start of the 2nd trimester. I know some people really like baby belly pics, but my belly wasn't photogenic before pregnancy and I can't imagine it will get any better.

Savannah

2010-09-08T12:08:00.003-04:00

The city is still beautiful. Arching trees, gardens, beautiful architecture, bustling parks, and the combined aroma of the river and the distillation tower near the paper mill.

We went to visit our friends Stan and Catalina from Ticonderoga. Spent most of the time with Catalina talking about her one year old daughter, Alexandra. They kept us fed with wonderful food bought from my old Kroeger. We ate at a "new" restaurant, Ciao Bella, that was excellent; and was the first time I felt a slight twinge of regret for not being able to order wine with my short ribs. We had ice cream at Leopold's.

We took the obligatory walk down River Street and as I walked town the slanted stone path I remembered trying to master it in high heeled sandals. Robbin pointed out to Stan The Cotton Exchange which he credits as the place we first shared a meal together. (I'm pretty sure it was a buffet at training early that day).

I was surprised how much I remembered of the city since I only lived there about 16 months total. And then also overwhelmed by all the memories. Over 10 years ago, I spent my first summer in Savannah, living downtown and working for IP. 10 years. Over 10 years ago.

Going down there again this weekend made me feel my age. Not that I feel old, just that I feel 32. And thank God, I'm not 22.

Anniversary Weekend

2010-05-07T09:40:00.004-04:00

The weekend of May 2 was our 1st wedding anniversary. Robbin got me tickets to see Mary Poppins in Atlanta. Taking advice from our friend Amanda, we had lunch in Decatur at Emily Salier's restaurant Watershed. I'm a huge Indigo Girls fan so I figured we had to go. The food was phenomenal. Pork and fig sandwich, butternut squash potato pancakes, braised cabbage, roasted beets, and lightly fried cauliflower. Awesome and reasonably priced. I'd definitely stop there again.

We need some furniture for the new house so we also spent time at Ikea, Crate and Barrel, Pottery Barn and Room & Board. Our new house has limited closet space and I've had a singular vision on using Ikea wardrobes to supplement the master bedroom storage. As soon as Robbin also saw their PAX warbdrobes, he came to the same (tunnel-like) view as myself. And while I know he probably would have been okay with whatever I picked out; it's nice to have him excited about the choice.

Dinner was a Ecco. Lamb, Mussels, Pasta, Pork, Fennel, Wine, Belgian Beer. Very good food. Excellent wait staff. It was listed as a good restaurant to go to before a show at the Fox Theatre, but it seemed a little bit a of trek in my dress shoes.

While we were in Atlanta, we also checked out Piedmont Park. With our furniture shopping agenda, we had little time for anything else. We have to go back next weekend with a conversion van to pick up the wardrobes, so maybe we'll see/ do more then.

Aside from that weeks 2 & 3 in Augusta included many visits to the YMCA, Lowe's for paint samples, creativity in cooking with no oven, dinner with Robbin's friend Ross from Cincinnati and Cinco de Mayo with some young woman engineers from IP. Tonight: Lobster Race in Aiken, SC.

Colors & White Part 2

2010-05-06T14:54:00.003-04:00

I know that my 5 readers are anxiously awaiting my second post about white.

My wonderful new house has a red brick fireplace. I used to cringe at the idea of anyone painting anything that was exposed brick. Now, I kind of want to paint my entire fireplace white. And as far as I can tell, when you look at almost any redecorating before and after in the past year and it's simply putting a lot of white in the room. Anyway, I imagine in 10 years people will be calling a room dated because of all the white in it. Nothing earth shattering there, just an observation.

Anyway I've decided on colors for most of the rooms in the house (which BTW already has white trim that will stay white).

Kitchen: White & Grey with red accents
Dining Room: Deep Dark Brown.
Living Room: Light honey yellow
Stairwell & Hallway: Greenish Grey
Master Bedroom: Taupe
Sun Room: Dark Teal

:0

White, Part 1

2010-04-28T15:58:00.003-04:00

For a long, long time, I knew I wanted a white kitchen. Right after college, my friend Heather lived in a coach house in Winnetka or Wilmette. She showed us the main house once and I fell in love with the kitchen. It was dark wood, stainless steel, and granite in the summer of 1999, well before every condo in Chicago was redone in that style. It opened up into the family room and I decided I wanted everything that kitchen setup had.

Except, I wanted white cabinets.

I worried that what I wanted might seem out of date, like someone who adores floral upholstered living room furniture. Then, slowly, I felt like my tastes were being validated. On the Food Network. Ellie Krieger had the first white kitchen I noticed. And now, most of them seem to be. And if you pick up a home design magazine, you'll see a lot of white in the kitchen.

Now, I worry that I have this white kitchen that I have always wanted and it’s going to be very dated in 5-7 years when we might move again.

I’m a worrier.

So much so that I have more to blog about on this topic, but it will have to wait for now.

Augusta, Week 1

2010-04-25T20:54:00.003-04:00

(Blows dust of blogger site)

It’s been a week. Last Sunday we left Chicago and drove to till we just outside of Knoxville, TN. We stopped at the first Hampton Inn off the express way. It was this odd hotel that had clearly been converted to a Hampton Inn. It had a llama pack in the back to watch and old ski lift seats to sit in to look over the mountains. The stairwell had old photographs and paintings in it, including a portrait of Sophia Loren and a depiction of slaves picking cotton.

We arrived in Augusta in the early afternoon, unloaded the car, bought groceries, and settled in. The temporary apartment we’re in is about 700 sq ft. It’s small, but really has everything we need: Cable, Internet, Kitchen, Deck, Etc. It in Hephzibah, GA which is about 20 minutes from everything you’d want to do but it works for now. The YMCA has a branch about 8 miles up the road and I’ve been there at least 5 times already.

We had the home inspection on the new house. I took pics that I’ll add soon. There will be a lot of work to do. The seller agreed to all our requests so we’re good to go there. We also got a contract on our condo. So the house buying/ selling experience so far has been smooth and quick.

We went out to dinner downtown on Friday; meandered around the city for awhile before settling on a pub which had great burgers and sandwiches. We also went up to the Augusta Canal. I expect we’ll spend some Saturdays there bike riding/ running but on Friday night the bugs drove us away fairly quickly.

Saturday night we went to Columbia, SC to see our friends the Zells. Robbin drank beer from their home tap and I drank Chris’ homemade wine. I’m pretty sure we could talk to them for hours and not ever go to bed. At 1:15am we climbed into our car and were home just before 3am. I was insistent that we not spend the night because I wanted to go to church in Augusta in the morning. Of course, we slept right through church. Next time, we’ll spend the night.

WTF is up with Michigan?

2009-09-30T23:02:00.002-04:00

Who lobbied for this law? What was the driving force behind it?

I'd like to make an insightful comment about this whole thing but I can't because my brain hits a brick wall trying to figure out who thought this was a good idea. I have a hard time believing it was a super strong childcare workers lobby...but maybe it was. This is Michigan.

Red Rooster & All My Sons

2009-09-27T19:10:00.004-04:00

Robbin and I subscribed to Timeline Theatre. The first show of the season was Arthur Miller's All My Sons. We had tickets for Saturday and decided to make a night of it going out to dinner as well.....and justified our not going out to dinner unless to be social rule by deciding that theatre night is special. We were going to go to Erwin since Timeline provides a discount there. However, the due to the popularity of The History Boys, All My Sons was in another venue, not close to Timeline.

This provided a good excuse to try Red Rooster. I've been wanting to try more French food and unlike my previous experience in Chicago, this was exactly what I was looking for last night. To be fair, I think if the service and mood had been different, Bistro Campagne would have been just as good. We had a beet salad and mussels Provencal for appetizers. I had Salmon with Cabernet sauce and Robbin had Beef Bourguignon. The appetizers were specials for the night and they delightful. The main courses were good, but not at the level of the appetizers. So, if you go, I recommend sticking to their extensive special menu.

All My Sons....good production; looking forward to more shows. The characters of Kate and Ann were very well developed and the actresses gave strong performances. Aside from Roger Mueller as Joe, the men's performances were not as impressive....but they're barely on the stage. The season tics were $120 each which was a great bargain. It's not the Goodman or Steppenwolf and I won't see Brian Dennehy or William Peterson. I won't be starstruck, but that's not really why I go to plays.

Banana Bread

2009-08-01T12:19:00.003-04:00

I made banana bread this morning using Chad's cinnamon applesauce instead of oil and low fat yogurt instead of milk. It's awesome. I'm bragging.

Now if only it could figure out a way to make banana bread lo calorie.

Gran Torino & Stranger in a Strange Land

2009-07-28T22:34:00.003-04:00

So, I didn't actually know Gran Tarino was a car. I had decided it was a neighborhood in L.A.

It's not. The movie takes place in Detroit. It is both good and bad. If they would have cut out 1 scene with the preist and the cops at the gangbangers house I would feel much warmer about this movie.

Stranger. Strange. Only inertia kept me reading once we entered the scientology - orgy like church stuff. The first third was really fascinating; but the major focus on sex was a huge intellectual turn off.

Dinner

2009-06-15T21:09:00.001-04:00

Homemade
Sweet Potato Fries
Grilled Onions
Burgers

Probably should have had something green; but I'm satisfied.

Remember Me?

2009-06-15T10:18:00.002-04:00

By: Sophie Kinsella

Very fluffy...which doesn't necessarily mean bad. But the entire time I kept thinking it would be a Lifetime Movie of the Week. The husband is too much of a caricature but some of the other characters are more subtle and real. Good beach read.

Honeymoon - Part 1.

2009-06-09T00:38:00.002-04:00

On suggestion of my friend Chris, I am starting up the blog again with some honeymoon talk. We flew into Liberia on Monday and had a rough hired car ride to our hotel in Arenal, Volcano Lodge. The roads are up and down and wind around a bunch. When we got to the hotel, Robbin was ready to lie down for awhile....which sort of annoyed me because I was ready to plan the rest of our days in Arenal and eat. We eventually went to happy hour, had a few drinks & chips with the best guac I have ever had and planned the next few days. Volcano Lodge was wonderful. The scenery was great, we had a direct view of the volcano and a garden off of the porch of our bungalow with colorful flowers. The staff were exteremly friendly and anxious to assist. And for someone who knows about 3 words of Spanish, I really appreciated their knowledge of English. We spent all of the next day with Sergio, our guide for 3 separate private tours of the Hanging Bridges, Fortuna Waterfall, and the Volcano. The Hanging Bridges provided a great view and interesting overview of the wildlife. Sergio shared his vast knowledge of the floral and fauna; which he taught himself through books and learned the English words as he went. We took a dip at the foot of the waterfall but failed to get any good pictures.... On the volcano hike we only saw white and grey ash out of the volcano and the rock lava of some of the more recent eruptions. On that hike there was also a full tree of Tucans who we watched for quite some time hoping at least one would come closer; but we had no such luck. We finished the night at a resort with Natural Hotsprings. And they had a waterslide. That sounds like an odd combination but it really worked. I think I went down the slide 4 times. Click on the link below for the pics.

Honeymoon Pics - Day 1

Things on my mind

2009-04-06T22:11:00.002-04:00

1. Interns - I still need to hire 5.
2. Wedding Linens - black, ivory, red...any combination of the three
3. Planning my honeymoon
4. Rehearsal Dinner
5. Why it is any sheets I have registered for sell out and what I really need is a new set of sheets.
6. What wrapping paper am I going to use for the bridesmaid gifts.
7. Parking tickets
8. Making MacNeil my middle name.
9. How in the world my condo can always in dusty.
10. How it is frustrating that long pants are about a 1/2 inch too long and regular pants are too short.
11. Booking a hair/makeup person
12. toaster ovens
13. homemade bbq sauce
14. How BSG will end. (I don't know yet)
15. Time travel within Lost
16. Seating charts.
17. My gas mileage.
18. How freaky it is that I'm finding friends from kindergarten on FB and how Jeremy Glomb looks exactly the same but in a grown man's body.
19. Manicures
20. pedicures.
21. The blemish on my chin.
22. Running
23. Balance Sheets
24. Crabcake or Mushroom Puff Pastry Appetizer?
25. Is it okay I went with buttercream instead of fondant frosting?
26. Welcome Bags
27. Wording for Programs.
28. Donation to JDRF
29. My sewing machine that I haven't taken out of it's box yet.
30. What books should I bring on my honeymoon?
31. WTF is up with the new marital rape law in Afghanistan?
32. Straight or wavy hair for the wedding?
33. Will my bra be comfortable?
34. Can I really pull off those heels?
35. About 20 guests haven't RSVP'd.
36. I really am looking forward to going to Bliss on the 25th.
That's about it for now.

Weddings

2009-03-09T21:10:00.002-04:00

are boring to blog about. And I'm the most boring person ever. All I can do is talk about the wedding. Therefore, lack of posts.

Allergy Test

2009-01-22T23:27:00.005-05:00

I've been allergic to cats most of my life. But I'm not someone who avoids going into a house with cats in it. Claritin worked well and if I didn't take Claritin I was usually ok if it was a shorter visit and I didn't pet that cat. Sean, my college boyfriend, would wheeze if he got near a cat. My sister has trouble being in any house that has a cat. I would just get itchy. If I was stupid enough to touch my face I would get really blotchy and my eyes would water while appearing to be bright green.

But the thing is, I get blotchy really easily. Really. My skin will inflamed with the slightest irritant. Sometimes, this redness is an unpleasant and itchy. Other times, I don't realize my skin looks like I have been sunburned and I have eczema until someone points it out mildly disgusted and says, "Oh my what happened, doesn't that hurt?" And I don't think they always believe me when I say no. Because of this issue, I will not be wearing a necklace with my wedding dress.

Getting back to the cats, I've never felt like I was horribly allergic until this past Christmas. I stayed with Robbin's old roommate Chad and his girlfriend Lauren along with their 5 cats and 2 dogs. I usually just double dose on Clartin, avoid petting the cats and everything is ok. That didn't work this time. I ended up wheezing. I wanted to all I could to either stay in Robbin's old room (where the cats don't go) or leave the house. So, I decided it was time to go to the allergy doc and get some big girl drugs.

Yesterday I had that appointment. I explained what happened and that I was needed something to take for when I was around the cats. She asked me about other allergies. I mentioned that I sneezed when I was around fresh cut grass and dust, but that I wasn't worried about that. Also, who doesn't sneeze around dust? She had me to spirometry test and I guess I failed. They had me retake it 5 times over the 90 minutes I was there. Failed each time. I think they thought I didn't understand the instructions because they kept explaining, "No you have to keep exhaling." Um there is no more air in my lungs, really. I don't like failing tests.

Anyway, then they did the allergy prick test. Remember that my skin is really sensitive?

This picture is before it got bad. I know that when i took the pick I thought my arm looked much more red and I wished my EN-V would capture it. Eventually some of the welts merged together and most looked like a very bad mosquito bite. The smallest reactions were the 2 controls of histamine and water. I still had welts from dust and grass this morning but they're gone now.

Anyway, she prescribed me Nasonex, Cingulair, and Alavert (ooc). This seems like a lot of drugs. Because really, I think I'm okay aside from the cats. Maybe I've just been coping and I don't feel as good as I could. The lung test scared me a little, But maybe they were right and I just wasn't doing it right. I've never felt like I had trouble breathing (except with the cats at Christmas). Since being in the doc's office I have noticed a slight t tightness in my chest and that maybe I'm not breathing a deeply I could. But maybe that has more to do with the 23 allergens she poked in my arm than with what I encounter in my daily life.

Harpist

2009-01-19T10:57:00.001-05:00

I'm considering hiring a harpist for my ceremony music and the cocktail hour before the reception. It is a bit novel. It seems less imposing (in terms of space used) than a quartet. And I really do not want to walk down the aisle to a boom box.

But is a harpist too fancy?

Air Florida Flight 90

2009-01-16T14:17:00.005-05:00

I remember watching a TV movie about this plane crash when I was 6. I was very very emotionally involved with the movie..for a 6 year old. I remember that a woman's baby was lost and I didn't understand why she didn't hold on to him and I kept thinking he would be found. I remember that there was an odd side story about a guy who was worried he was going to miss his plane because of the horrible traffic that day & it was implied that his flight was the one who crashed into the bridge, while he was in traffic on the bridge. I remember there was a guy who kept helping others grab the helicopter rope instead of taking it himself. I remember my parents had to explain to me that grabbing the rope was harder than I thought it would be. And I also remember not understanding how that man who was helping everyone else could have died. The camera panned back to where he had been and he was gone. How could that have happened? Why didn't someone tell the helicopter pilot to hurry up and go back and get him? Why weren't there 2 helicopters? Why didn't they use 2 ropes each time they tried to save someone? If they had done that the first time, he would not have died. Also, the baby is okay, right? They are going to find the baby, right? These were my six year old thoughts.

At 31, I have a much better appreciation now of course about how fast everything happened and how paralyzed Washington DC was to get more assistance to the crash. The flight that landed in the Hudson River yesterday made me think of that TV movie so I read about Flight 90 online. They named the bridge after the man, Arland D. Williams Jr., who died assisting the other survivors.

So this is a tangent...but mostly why I thought of Flight 90. There are headlines from survivors saying, God was looking out for them and that this was a miracle. I think God looks out for all of us; I don't doubt he was looking out for those passengers. And I thank God for many things in my life; if I survived a plane crash I am sure I would Thank God. But should I die in that crash instead, does that mean that God shouldn't be thanked? And was God not with the passengers of Flight 90 in their final moments? I'm not criticizing for thanking God. It just opened the why do bad things happen question again for me.

Then there is the miracle portion of this. The first I heard of the crash I had just turned on the news and it was reported (paraphrasing) "Due to the thoughtful, skilled, calm pilot and the quick and well trained rescue team as well as the aid of bystanders, all 155 people survived. It was nothing short of a miracle." To me that sounds like some great people; not a miracle. Maybe it's a miracle in the way I think the fishes and the loaves and the endless bottles of wine was a miracle; people were simply so moved by Jesus' words they shared with those that had no fish or bread or wine. Is it a miracle that everyone responded in a way we all wish we would respond in the face of a disaster?

Okay. Done with the deeps thoughts.

Of course it is cold, it is January and you live in Chicago.

2009-01-14T14:32:00.002-05:00

I think I am more annoyed with people complaining about the weather than the actual bitter cold. I'm not talking about talking about the weather or saying you're cold or that you have to shovel the snow or that stuff.

I'm talking about the people who are acting like it is worst thing that has every happened is that there is a snow storm and there is a below zero windchill. In Chicago. In January.

Tivo=Productivity

2009-01-13T23:03:00.004-05:00

Finishing a program on my Tivo and deleting off of the "Now Playing" list can make me feel productive; like crossing an item off a to do list.

New Year's

2009-01-02T20:53:00.005-05:00

Christmas Pictures.

2008-12-28T20:02:00.004-05:00

Dave, Robbin, Lauren, & Rebel.

Craigory usually has a look of befuddlement.

Cross Country Skiing Trek in Lake Placid.

Our Blurry Christmas Tree in Chicago

Thanksgiving Pics

2008-12-28T19:55:00.001-05:00

Just 1 Thanksgiving Pic. My cousin Kim's kids, Clayton, Ana & Spencer, riding on their older cousin's back. That would be Alexx, my cousin Randy's oldest.

Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T23:41:00.002-05:00

And I'm in Ticonderoga, NY. I spent most of the day with Robbin's family, watching the kids. I wish I was in Chicago, at the Flynn's watching the kids opening their gifts. At the same time, Dave, Chad, & Lauren are also all not spending Christmas with their due to work, so we have had a grand old time tonight & also will tomorrow.

Our luggage was lost for 2 days, we got 8 inches of snow, we went on a great cross country skiing trek in Lake Placid, Burlington, VT is like a Christmans Village minature set mass manufactured, and I watched a 1 year old be more delighted by wrapping paper than any gift someone could possibly give him. Also, Chad got a new dog, Rebel, as 112 lbs. Malumute/Wolf who greeted me with a big bark & jump on the chest Saturday night. Rebel has since grown on me. He sits in my lap & licks my hands & face.

I still have pictures to upload from Thanskgiving & will put the Christmas pics up soon.

Really.

And there it is...

2008-12-12T00:07:00.002-05:00

4th from the bottom.

Sociopath

2008-12-09T19:42:00.003-05:00

My governor is a sociopath. Okay, maybe by the exact definition...but how else could he think he could get away with this? I believe that many govt officials are corrupt, but at least they are more subtle about it.

conspiracy theory

2008-12-09T10:16:00.002-05:00

I am not a Rod fan. I don't think he handled the CTA budget crisis well at all. He pushed through state wide preschool (a good idea) with out real funding or plans. I get the impression that he doesn't understand basic math with his policy ideas. And my real beef with him is that he allowed the open road tolling project to go through with out any thought to the logistical nightmare that is the River Road Toll; resulting in a more congested bottleneck.

This morning I heard on the news that Rod stated that he is going to stop the state from doing business with Bank of America because of the Republic Windows & Doors employees' sit in. I thought, good for Illinois. Stand up a little. Even if it is a gesture that may or may not help the workers & BofA should not be lending money to those who can't pay it back; it felt right.

Not 10 minutes later, I hear that he is taken into custody on what I now know are bribery & mail/wire fraud charges related to filling Barrack Obama's open seat. I was pretty sure he was dirty. I'm glad he got caught. I do not believe him standing up to the banking industry has anything to do with his arrest.

BUT, I bet some will make that conclusion. And they will probably post it on reddit. And I am kind of anxious to see how they draw that connection.

I wish Patrick Fitzgerald had better timing; and I wonder what he would find if we had him investigate another governor's office.

Santa Claus

2008-12-03T21:48:00.004-05:00

When I was six years old I inquired as to why we had no Santa Claus ornaments. We had angels, stars, Winne the Pooh, a rattle, and Wonder Woman; but no St. Nick. Apparently I must have gone on about this a lot or my parents thought it was cute and told everyone about it. That year I received around 6 or 7 Santa Claus Ornaments. And a collection was started.

I have my first tree this year. Turns out I have about 50 or so ornaments and 5 of them are not Santa Clauses. (Is that the correct plural of Santa Claus?) Anyway I truly enjoy Christmas ornaments & really like good Santa Claus ones.

I went to an ornament exchange for our annual P.E.O. Holiday Party. I almost came home with a kickin' large red ball ornament with a sparkly Santa belt around the middle. Loved it. It was then stolen from me as is the nature of ornament exchanges. I came home with a beautiful ivory and gold ball with a music motif from the CSO. And I'm a little more disappointed that I didn't get the red Santa Claus ball than I should be. It's a ornament. I could buy it myself.

Sigh.

Lots of Lasagna & Quantum of Solace & Ebates

2008-12-01T13:27:00.003-05:00

4 trays of lasagna is too much for 14 people. I think we'll get through our leftovers this week though. I am capable of eating it for breakfast, lunch & dinner...plus Robbin is in town this week.

We saw Quantum of Solace this weekend. Very Bond. No other real strong feeling about the movie. I like that it started immediatley where Casino Royale left off; yet I think I'll start to miss the final frames with James in bed with his Bond girl. Perhaps once he gets over Vesper that will start up again.

I bought lots of Christmas gifts online. Ebates is the best site ever. I now always go there first before purchasing something online.

All for now. Pics of Thanksgiving up soon.

Registering

2008-11-07T10:52:00.002-05:00

Last weekend Robbin & I completed the most consumer, materialistic ritual of the wedding ritual. We registered. Registries have their strong points; people want to buy you something you will like. But it also just reminds me how much the GDP goes up for each wedding. Robbin & I will be spending money on the hotel/caterer/reception, the clothes, the flowers, the DJ, etc; our guests will spend money to get to the hotel (either through a car or an airfare). Some guests will spend money on a hotel room. And then of course people may choose to give us a gift. Seriously, I am helping the economy by getting married.

We went to Bed Bath & Beyond on Saturday before a family dinner and essentially failed at registering. We didn't know what we wanted; the eager and friendly sales person demonstrated how strong fine China is by having Robbin stand on a teacup. That was interesting but we don't need fine China. Actually, no one needs fine China, but I happen to have my Grandmother's anyway. After 45 minutes and only registering for 10 frames, both of us were cranky, looking at the time & deciding it is okay to show up early to my mom's house for dinner.

On Sunday we went to Crate & Barrel. Oh what a difference a day makes. First of all, I want to buy most everything that is in Crate & Barrel. The past couple seasons I haven't been so hot on them, but I'm back to giving CB my love. I'm pretty sure Robbin even had a good time doing this. And now I have this ultimate wish list. And I'm pretty sure that makes be shallow and materialistic to enjoy this so much. Oh well.

I think in a few years I might pretend to be getting married again & go register. I just like the handheld scan thingy.

Tonight I discovered..

2008-10-28T21:01:00.002-04:00

that I make a really good Reuben. And I will have to make many more this week because sauerkraut doesn't come in small jars. Really, if anyone wants a sandwich this week; I can make it for you.

Used cat litter on my back stairs

2008-10-27T22:32:00.003-04:00

I like my building. I have nice quiet neighbors that while they are not very good at shoveling snow (they always leave a thin layer on the ground) they do a decent job at landscaping; adding potted plants everywhere. I don't know who did this. Although I can narrow it down to at least 2 units I know have cats. It's icky. And this whole thing is not endearing me in anyway to ever have a pet.

5k

2008-10-26T16:56:00.003-04:00

I ran a 5k today. Robbin signed me up in September to motivate me to get moving. I was following a Runner's World Running Plan up until about 2 weeks ago. And i haven't run since then. I was busy; I was lazy; I was in NY; I was getting a cold. Always an excuse. I think I would have tried to convince Robbin not to "make" me do it; since I was so unprepared. However, I did much better than I thought I would! I did not notice a single mile marker & was not tracking time; instead listening to music. If I had actually trained these last 2 weeks, I think I would have been at 10 minute miles. I was at 11 and had loads of energy at the end. woo hoo for me.

Colin Powell

2008-10-20T20:12:00.002-04:00

He really says it all...leaving me little to type here.

Meet the Press, October 19, 2008

Venues

2008-10-12T11:33:00.003-04:00

We still haven't decided on a venue. I decided that we would go with the Renaissance if they are available the first weekend in May. Robbin is worried that the annual shutdown in Ticonderoga is that week. And despite the fact that it's only been about 24 hours since I've been waiting for him to get an answer on that...it feels like 2 weeks. Once we get the venue, everything else we start to happen. I don't even feel comfortable committing to colors without a venue. Why aren't we eloping?

Sarah Vowell

2008-10-08T19:54:00.002-04:00

For some reason, I thought she would be petite, blonde haired & blue eyed with impecablle fashion. I thought that I would find her intimidating. She seems so...um...normal is not the right word, but she seems more quirky than hipster. So, I'm not willing to make a sweeping fashion judgement based on one appearance I've seen...but not what I expected. Not that any of that matters in an author; but we all know that I'm pretty shallow.

I need to read the The Wordy Shipmates. I feel like there was a This American Life Show she did about Pilgrims also. I'll have to dig that up.

31

2008-10-07T23:33:00.002-04:00

How how how how can I be getting a breakout at 31? I mean a full blown 12 year old acne attack. Is it because my insurance will no longer pay for Retin-A and I'm kind of at a time in my life where Accutane would be dangerous? Do the acne demons know this? And why are the picking on me? Wasn't fifth - eighth grad enough for you?!?

Hmph.

The Economist

2008-10-06T22:03:00.002-04:00

Someone remind me again why I cancelled by subscription?
Check out this article.

I think I was most informed when I read The Economist weekly. I now can't imagine having the time to actually read it each week...maybe that's why I stopped. Is there an audio version? Really, sometimes NPR doesn't cut it.

The Balance Ball

2008-10-06T21:36:00.002-04:00

I'm sure I look like a wobbly fool but I feel the burn.

The fascination of the abomination

2008-10-02T11:14:00.003-04:00

I'm not sure if I'll be watching the debate tonight. I'm not a huge Biden fan. I'm fine with his politics, I just think he talks to much. From what I understand, it will not so much be a debate but them answering question towards the moderator. And in that format, I think Sarah will look really good to all the people she energized in late August and the rest of us will still be astonished that she's a VP candidate.

She won't answer any questions...and by that I mean even less so than most candidates do....and she will have one line zingers that will be played on the internet by liberals and conservatives alike over and over to show how ill informed or sassy she is.

I understand that many of her politics are popular with many people...pro life, pro gun, pro drilling in Alaska. And whether or not you agree with those, there can be a respectable compelling arguments for those. But not by her. I cannot think that anyone wants a candidate that cannot handle an interview; that cannot be challenged; and that cannot even attempt to bridge a gap between Rs & Ds. I have got to think that even the most junior Republican Congressman is thinking, "Really, you chose her over me?"

So, I might watch the debate or I might watch my Netflix of season 1 of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Either way, I'm fulfilling Joseph Conrad's assessment of human behavior.

Venues

2008-09-29T20:12:00.002-04:00

We've decided on a few details. 1) The reception will be at a hotel 2) That hotel will probably not be in Chicago, but in the NW Suburbs.and 3) We'll probably get married in the first third of the year (April or sooner) because there are a few venues offering discounts for that timeframe.

I am strongly leaning towards the Marriott O'Hare, where 2 of my bridesmaids and my officiant had their senior prom. But I may just be leaning strongly because that's the only place we met with a sales person. I need the other venues to be sold to me as well.

I reached out to the Westin and am not not not impressed. They sent me a link to their information online. Great. You mean you sent me to the website that gave me this email to get additional information about your venue? You fail.

At the Marriott, I could use the former Kona Kai restaurant as my reception space and I'm really warming up to that even though I thought I wanted a more "sophisticated" feel. It's very whimsical... and if we go with that, I'm not going to go all out tiki...but decorating is going to be so easy.

Canoeing

2008-08-30T11:18:00.002-04:00

Robbin & I pulled out his canoe from Stan's property on the lake and paddled around yesterday after our flight and stop by the Vermont Maritime Museum. Robbin gets really frustrated when I call the paddle an oar of if I say I'm rowing and not paddling. We paddled into a small harbor with beaver dams and large lily pads with large flowers. We did not see any beavers but did see their handy work on the nearby trees. Perfect weather. Very picturesque. No camera. Visited with Stan & Catlina, dinner at the Country Club with Chad & Lauren, and we were in bed by 10pm. Today Chad made us breakfast, blueberry, raspberry and apple pancakes. (three varities, not one big fruit panake.) Now off to hike a small mountain.

traffic gremlins

2008-08-19T21:31:00.002-04:00

Who else would decide to close the 2 left lanes of I-90 on Cubs game night? When Milwaukee is also all torn up? And I-94 is also still under repair?
Meh.

The Shield

2008-08-18T22:49:00.003-04:00

How did I miss this show? Robbin started tivoing it...or the tivo thought Robbin would like it...and I suddenly am obsessed with the show, just in time for the final season. I'm completely torn between my 2 favorite cops, Dutch & Lem. I want them both to have more interesting stories & screen time. And I wish Shane would just go away. But Walter Goggins does an amazing job showing how someone can rationalize such behavior.

I'm going to skip the entry about why I haven't been blogging. It's over done. You can see that on anyone's blog. oops. I just did it.

Superlatives.

2008-06-30T21:12:00.000-04:00

Seriously. Isn't Casey Cannon the cutest thing ever?

Michael Tolliver Lives!

2008-06-25T11:27:00.002-04:00

by Armistead Maupin.
I read this on during my unhappy day in the airport earlier this month. I really do enjoy Armistead's writing. I enjoyed getting "caught up" with all my favorite characters from The City series. I had read a quote from him previously stating that this is not a sequel or continuation of that series. Before reading the book, I thought...how could this possibly be. It's about Michael Tolliver, in SanFran....must be a sequel. And now that I read it...I think I know what he meant. It is not the same. There is no quirky cloak and dagger mystery for Mary Ann (who is pretty much only an after thought in this book). It's kind of horribly sentimental. For a distraction from the fiasco that was my day, it was nice. I'm also intersted in reading the next installment...Mary Ann in Autumn.

Bistro Campagne

2008-06-22T11:45:00.003-04:00

I had high expectations which may be why I was underwhelmed. Robbin had called to make reservations the day before and asked for outdoor seating. We had an expectation that they would say, it's first come first serve. But instead they said sure, weather permitting. When we called yesterday to say we had only 5 not 6 in our party, he tried to verify the outdoor seating. At this point they said it was first come first serve. A little misdirection in the first phone call. If it wasn't such a beautiful night, it would have been less important.

The table wobbled so much it took a cloth napkin and many coasters that pregnent Kathy got on her hands and knees to put into place. There was a good 2 inch wobble in the table. They were out of a few items.

I had rabbit which was very tasty and a chocolate souflee was mind numbing. And yet I was still underwhelmed. I think part of the problem is that what I was really looking for a nice evening outside. I have wanted to go to Bistro Campagne for a long time but wasn't really in the mood for fancy French fare.