When I was pregnant with Gerald, I put away clothes that I couldn't wear in Sterlite bins. I brought them out again when I quickly lost the weight. But over the year between giving birth to Gerald and being pregnant with Douglas, I gained a lot of it back. And once I was pregnant the second time, the clothes went back in the bins right away. Few items have seen the light of day in close to three years. Today I am the same weight I was when I gave birth to Gerald. 172 lbs. I'm working on it. Probably not hard enough. I eat way to many carbs, love wine, and do not exercise enough. (Though I'm 100% for 2015 daily workouts. Please note is the third day of the year and my husband has been off work since the 31st.)
Back to the bins. I've contemplating selling items to MoxieJean or ThredUP for the boys. The consignment scene in Selma pales to that in Augusta so I need another venue. I was talking to a friend about whether he wanted any hand me downs for his soon to be born son (who arrived 2 days later!). And sorting through what I felt good about selling vs hand me downs vs donating vs tossing. When looking at ThredUP, I saw they also took women's clothes and thought I should look through my bins. I'm still not sure if I'll go with them. There are reviews of many designer items being lost when it is determined it didn't meet their quality standards. Also, my clothes may be too out of date for them since they say don't want to take anything purchased more than 5 years ago, but reviewers also say they send in older things and they do get accepted.
I started with the really old bins. Not the ones I put clothes in 3 years ago, but the ones I knew had size 6 designer sun dresses in them. I figured those didn't even fit me right in the chest when I was 125 lbs, I was unlikely to ever wear them again. Those bins also stored a handful of pairs of size 4 khakis. I used to wear a size 4? I really don't remember that.
In the bins from 3 years ago, among an extraordinary number of size M tank tops, I found my pretty underwear. They are lacy. They are cheeky. Some are thongs. They are orange and pink and satin. And seriously? I cannot imagine putting them on this body. This is a full coverage briefs body. Even if I lose the weight, back down to 156 or even mid-twenties weight of 130s, I'm not sure those types of underwear belong on this body.
And that is how my Sterlite bins made me feel very old and sad about my belly. I decided to toss the underwear instead of put it back in the bin. If I ever do feel like wearing sexy underwear on a daily basis again, it will be new. It will cover my bottom. And it won't make me sad.
1 comment:
Rae! This is such a great post. I too had size four and size six clothes that now live in bins. I've weeded some out but not all. I too am going to take better care of myself this year, because I don't recognize my body anymore, and I've been squeezing myself into size 8 for a while, now I am squeezing into size 10. But when we get to where we want to be, you are so right that it won't be the place where our size 4 and 6 clothes live. I think I'm ok with that, and ok with being in my late 30s, and regardless of my feelings that's how it is. I'm glad you were able to articulate it so well. Thanks for blogging again!
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